This year has been truly an adventure!  I have no regrets, and can look back at all the blessings, heartaches, lessons, adventures, tests, trials, and temptations.  I can say that the Lord has been molding me and shaping me, refining me as I go!  Those times I wasn’t looking to the Lord, He allowed me or my cirumstances to bring me to my knees…to allow me the GRACE to see more clearly!  He’s put people in my life to help me and make me more of a servant leader!

There are those who are leaders, and there are those who are followers.  I KNOW without any doubt that God has “wired” me and built me as a natural leader.  He’s given me the gift of good people-skills, & open ears to be able to listen, and He always gives me the words to say when I ask!

There were too many times when I failed to listen to what God was telling me, and yet He still loved me, & kept bringing me back to Him!  the BIGGEST change and blessing…was my John!!!!  Words can’t express how much I’ve ben blessed with & by him!  Before we were “together”, I hadn’t seen him in a long time.  I had just finished getting over the hurt I had been dealt by my last relationship with Jared…and our friendship was destroyed.  Between that and being chased after by one other man, I was emotionally a wreck.  I wasn’t fully focused on the Lord, because I was so distracted!  I even gave in to my “WILD STREAK” a few times.  The thoughts were not pure!  I was looking for an excuse to get into trouble, to fulfill desires, and drinking more than I should have.

I was walking the Christian walk, but my heart was still very bitter and angry from what had happened before.  I hadn’t truly forgiven him for what he did to me, hadn’t forgiven myself, and it was making me close up.   So I finally got to that point around May when I realized that I wouldn’t be able to move on, and God wouldn’t be able to use me and grow if I didn’t fully let go of everything.

My sister got married on May 8th, and I got to see this awesome strong guy take her away.  :)  I don’t think anyone else would have been more worthy!  That encouraged my heart…that if my little sister found someone perfect for her, then there was still hope for me!

I had some interest in a few guys, but noone was making any moves.  Finally, my roomate Angela told me, “Sara!  just pick one!”  —>  the following weekend, our friend Stephen had a birthday party.  I just happened to see our friend Joshua Gravis, who had introduced John & I…  and God gave me the question to ask josh about John Roney…which sparked an interesting mini-conversation.  From that point, I felt led to call John on that following Tuesday…we talked for an hour, and when we hung up, I thought he’d probably just go on with life and forget about me.  WELL, that very next day, we were having our usual “Circle Of Sisters” at Deerpath house…as soon as the group ended, John called me!  (which totally took me by surprise!)  He traveled up to our house that night…on the phone w/ me all the way up  :)  When he got there, before he even got through the doorway, he gave me a nice big hug!  (I felt something special between us when he did that)  We stayed up till about 1am talking about lived, hearts, passions, and thoughts.  It was probably the most refreshing conversation that I’d ever had!!!!!  That night, when he left…as soon as the door closed, my roomate Aviel [whom I've known for a good 13 years] said, “I want to see you marry him!”  It caught me off-guard, & yet somehow I had this feeling that Aviel said something that would come to pass!

Sure enough, after that night, we were inseparable, excepting one or two nights we couldn’t see eachother.  There has been a “web” as John & call it…that the Lord has been weaving since the beginning!  We had so much favor with people around us, such encouragement & support from our family and friends, confirmations through circumstances, and even instructions straight from the Lord on what to say/do, and when. 

Along came July 4th, and I got introduced to John’s mom, who was home for the holiday, since she has been stationed in New Mexico, working for the Dept. Of Energy.  July 8th, John & I were at my house talking & relaxing…and he asked, “What would Sara say if John were to ask her to marry him, and he didn’t have a ring?”  me being the sass I am, said, “Why don’t you ask her and find out?”.  He finally (after a few seconds to compose himself) asked, and I said “yes!  A thousand times yes!”  So that day was a new chapter…even though we both had already talked about, & knew it was coming!  It was a matter of time.

This brought on new changes in both our lives, as we started to arrange our lives and work, to plan for our big day!  We both prayed, & felt like God was telling me to leave my sign Sign*A*Rama job.  This was very imporatant!  The original goal & plan was for me to buy the sign shop from my boss; Mark…after 1 or 2 years.  I was working as a sales-woman, and doing quite well!  The clients loved me, and I had more success on my “cold calls” and meetings than any other sales person he had previously!  I was loving the job, the perks (getting my own signs, etc) and the clients.  My grampa even wanted to partner with me and open up our own sign shop!  Just the two of us!

BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS!

He told me that it was best to stay home with John once we got married on October 3rd.  (which we picked, because we first saw eachother again on June 3rd)  John also had the same instruction given to him about it!  So we started the wedding plans…

I talked it over with my boss, who reacted the way I knew he would.  He was upset, and couldn’t understand why I was “throwing something great away”.  I tried to explain to him as best I could how God had given me instructions to leave, & that John would need me at home to help with the business we were building.  -which is also hard to explain to anyone who doesn’t understand internet marketing.  He even tried to give me the weekend to “think” about it…I did.  I talked it over with John, & I prayed LONG and HARD!  I still got the same answer.  So I told him my final decision.  I felt horrible that I was disappointing him, and disappointed that I’d be leaving a profitable business, to go into the “unknown”.  BUT I knew that obedience was what I was needing to do!  I knew that if I didn’t obey what the Lord was saying, there would be bigger consequences!  Several other attempts from my boss came..he gave me one last “decision” weekend, and he & his wife took me out to Ruby Tuesdays to try and persuade me otherwise.  He talked to me once or twice too, saying he was ok with me leaving, but wished I would stay.  He thought I was making a big mistake.  (I understand from a human and business point of view how it would seem that I was letting go of something great!  And I WAS!  BUT God had other things in mind for me, and I’m going to trust HIS plans and instructions over MINE…ANY DAY!)

I have no regrets.

I still miss working there.  I still miss Mark & Jason.  But I know that it’s for the best.  Money is very tight right now, but that’s ok!  —>  If we hadn’t been so tight on money since we got married, we would not have had so many lessons to learn, time to focus on the Bible more, issues to work out between us, attacks from Satan to teach us how much we need to trust in the Lord’s power, failures to teach us that we were trying too hard to get “to the top” in business…that we needed to “SEEK HARDER AFTER THE LORD THAN YOU DO FOR PROFIT!” Through all of these trials, tests, temptations, we’ve learned to rely more on Christ FIRST, then eachother!  We have learned to be more patient, to listen more intently for the Lord’s instructions, to not have expectations on the other, and to encourage the other to remember what our focus and purpose are.

Our focus that God’s given us for Sponsor A Missionary, is to start building it out.  He’s given me my strengths of detail and setting up fundraising ideas, to help start this non-profit!  The goal for “SAM” is to get to the point where we have missionaries on their own pages, with people or organizations donating, so we can send $ to each missionary, visit them, take pictures and video of their work, and to give them encouragement in what they’re doing!  THAT is our passion!

Right now, we need to save up $700 so we can get our 501C3 so we’ll be “legal”, and people can donate (tax-deductible) That’s the hardest part right now!  It’s hard to get an organization up and rolling when you have no funding!  We DO however…have several things that we can start, to try and get some immediate funds to send to the three missionaries we already have signed up for their own pages!  (Nikki Arnold-Bik- S. Dakota, Pastor Alex Sam-India, and Peter Wallace-Kenya)  It’s SOOOOOOO encouraging to see missionaries sign up to be a part of SAM!!!  It makes me heart smile!    We have a facebook fan-page..and already have almost 1,200 fans!!!  It’s such a beautiful thing what the Lord is doing through us with this!  We are excited to see where and when He takes it.  We are excited to see how everything comes together.  The Lord’s taken SUCH GREAT CARE of us this year!  I cannot and will not complain about any of our circumstances!  :)

Sometimes it’s been hard, since we live at John’s mom’s house.  We are rent-free, except helping with utilities & misc. small expenses she may need help with.  We’re blessed beyond words!  Sometimes it’s hard living with his sister (loud & constantly needing to talk) and his mom (negative).  BUT it’s a blessing to have an extra sister, who looks up to me for advice, talks with me, shares things with me.  It is nice to have his mom be willing to allow us to stay here!  -until we move to Florida  :)-

I am learning more and more to be content in where we are…especially through our current circumstances, and the instructions from the Lord to move to Florida.  (Naples, specifically)  The instruction is to go.  Not question.  Not worry.  We know we must go!  I don’t know what the Lord has planned, but whatever it is, we will most certainly grow!  It is “what’s best”, as He ha told us.  :)

It’s definitely been a lot different for me!  Since we got married, there have been a lot of changes, compromises, issues, lessons, & just plain ol’ adjustments to make!  Some days it’s really hard!  Some days it’s easier.  But this WONDERFUL marriage that the Lord has made is truly a beautiful and perfect thing!!!  I WOULDN’T TRADE WHAT WE HAVE FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!  I keep falling more deeply in love with John every day!!  It is a PERFECT match!  :-D  God knew what He was doing.  God KNOWS what He’s doing!

This life is but a blip…I pray that through this next year given us, that we would continue to trust in the Lord’s provision, have a joyful spirit, encourage each other, and remember to keep our focus in the right place.   (The Author and Perfector of our faith)

I ask the Lord to protect us from Satan’s attacks, since he’s attacked us so many times already!  (I know he’s scared of what God can do through “Team Roney”)  I ask for the guidance & wisdom to know what to do/say, that God would show us His plans, grant us patience, & the Grace to move forward & treat each other and others with the highest respect!

I THANK YOU LORD, FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE FOR US, AND ALL YOU’VE GIVEN! GRATEFUL AM I!!!!

All I need’s another day Where I can’t seem to get away From the many things that drag me down, yeah I’m sure you’ve had a day like me Where nothing seems to set you free From the burdens you can’t carry all alone In your weakness He is stronger In Your darkness He shines through When you’re crying He’s your comfort When your all alone, He’s carrying you This valley is so deep I can barely see the sun I cry out for mercy, Lord You lift me up again.

I am such a fool…my mind keeps me so occupied, that I lose track of where its really supposed to be. ESPECIALLY around Christmas!!! I mean, look around…how many people do you see NOT rushing around or stressed out? My husband John and I have been so wrapped up in business and obtaining more business for income, that we -or at least I- haven’t stopped to just thank God for Christmas and to sit back and enjoy the few days we have left before Christmas Day…not to worry, since The Lord has it all under control…to trust in His provision alone, to “let go” so to speak- when we finally let HIM carry the burdens, THEN we get the peace! THEN can we truly enjoy everything He’s provided! Only THEN will we actually be full of joy.

Things don’t satisfy. Money either. These things both do not go with us when we die! “But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy”…

-selah-

This is a video I took on a hike with my brother Jonathan a few years ago… I was provoking it to strike.  Yes.  I’m a dare-devil!

d.o.n.t.   q.u.i.t
when things go wrong as they sometimes will
and the road your travelling seems all uphill
when you want to laugh but you have to cry
’cause the funds are low and the debts are high
when trouble’s grinding you into that pit
rest if you must but don’t you quit
for life is queer with it’s twists and turns
which everyone has already learned
and many a failure has turned about
when he might have won had he stuck it out
success is failure turned inside out
the silver lining of the clouds of doubt
you never know how close you are
you may be near when you seem afar
so stick to your guns when you’re hardest hit
for when things seem there worst
’swhen you mustent quit
keep the faith no mind what they say
trust in YOUR GOD FOR ONE MORE DAY

The Prayer of An Unknown Confederate Soldier

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
I was give life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for—but got everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

Here is a quote from my friend’s email…she works for Salvation Army, and had this at the bottom of her email

  Happy moments, Praise God
  Difficult moments, Seek God
  Quiet moments, Worship God
  Painful moments, Trust God
  Every moment, Thank God

Ok. So Thanksgiving is almost here…

To alot of people, Thanksgiving is all about traditions and food.  But after yesterday’s sermon at Reston Bible Church, it helped me get a more intense focus on the real meaning.  It’s in the name…  THANKS-giving!  Giving-thanks!  Pastor Tony Pedroni talked about finding our joy NOT in our cirumstances, but in KNOWING that the Lord is God.  Not just saying, “Sure, I know He’s God”  What does being God entail?  How many attributes can I learn about Him every time I read the Bible?  How can I praise him through my circumstances and way I react to things, instead of let the devil steal my joy, OR get my joy when circumstances are good.  Paul & Silas…got put in jail…and they were PRAISING God for everything…they were looking for ways to praise God for the circumstances.

How can I really KNOW that He is God??! When I really know and understand that He is God, and He’s all-knowing, all-powerful, in control, always faithful, and always loves me…THEN can I have joy…no matter HOW good OR bad the circumstances are/are going to get!

~SELAH~

ONE THING I’M VERY THANKFUL FOR:

IS HOW GOD HAS ALWAYS, ALWAYS BROUGHT ME BACK TO HIM!  AND HE’S TAKEN CARE OF ME!  I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD.  HE IS SOVEREIGN!

This is a poem I had written a while back.  I think it’s good to remember that life has its trials & storms.  But as long as we look to Jesus, it’ll all be alright! 

Poem, started on: 5.14.08

With tears streaming down my face, I fall to my knees…
My strength has left me, and my body’s sore.
I clench my fists & scream, yet nothing seems to ease!
I cry to the wind, “PLEASE GOD! NO MORE!”

Why did you bring me into this terrible storm?
Can you even hear, Lord? Why this and NOW?
My soul feels cold and numb, God! Can you make it once more warm?
Will you fix my torn, shattered heart somehow?

The wind, seeming to echo my prayer…stops.
A deafening silence surrounds the space,
Not even a whistle is heard through the treetops.
Nope… nothing. Each leaf and branch are in place!

The storm is still here…I’m just more alone.
(or at least that’s the way it would all seem)
This silence is killing me from the inside out,
As the feeling drifts further out to sea.

The reality of the storm I must weather
Is the sum of all my troubled-heart’s fears.
I could give up on getting through all-together,
As this great torrential turbulence nears.

I can’t give up. I was meant to battle this foe!
To be soaked by the rain, chilled by the wind.
It hurts, but I must weather this temporal woe,
Knowing I have fallen short and I sinned!

The breeze, the sunshine, the birds singing, the blue skies… Too many times, we often MISS the beautiful work that God’s done,  because we’re “too busy” going somewhere, doing something, or thinking about those two things! I know that I have a habit of doing that much too often.  I get into the mode of busy-busy-busy, and forget to stop and enjoy the “quiet” and nature…even if it’s just laying down in the grass & looking up at the sky.

We need to remember that this earth we live on was made by the Creator; Christ…and that every little thing about it is intricately made, beautiful in every detail, and made for us to enjoy.  So we need to re-focus ourselves, and stop and admire what He’s given us.  It’s special, and it’s made just for us!  So we must not take it for granted!  It’s a gift, just like salvation…to be used and enjoyed…and shared. 

~selah

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Dear Father in Heaven, Please work in me today to ripen the fruit of the Spirit. Help me to bear this fruit in my life…to show and share love, joy, and peace; to be long-suffering, gentle, and good; to have strong faith; to be meek and temperate, slow to speak and quick to listen. I want to walk in the Spirit so that my life will be pleasing to you and a light in the darkness, that the world may know that you are God. With praise and thanksgiving, in the name of Jesus. Amen